ymarkov | "Girls Gone Hyper"

James Taranto writes:

Any evolutionary psychologist will tell you that female hypergamy--more broadly defined as the drive to mate with dominant males--is an animal instinct, not a product of human culture, which can only restrain or direct it. Seemingly without realizing it, Coontz provides powerful anecdotal evidence in support of that assertion:

"When the journalist Liza Mundy interviewed young women for her forthcoming book on female breadwinners, she found that most wanted a mate they could "look up to" or "admire"--and didn't think they could admire a man who was less educated than they were. During a talk I recently gave to a women's group in San Francisco, an audience member said, "I want him to respect what I know, but I also want him to know just a little more than me." One of my students once told me, "it's exciting to be a bit in awe of a guy."

[...]

Bennett, meanwhile, offers advice (or advises others to offer it) to those overgrown boys:

We need to respond to this culture that sends confusing signals to young men, a culture that is agnostic about what it wants men to be, with a clear and achievable notion of manhood. The Founding Fathers believed, and the evidence still shows, that industriousness, marriage and religion are a very important basis for male empowerment and achievement. We may need to say to a number of our twenty-something men, "Get off the video games five hours a day, get yourself together, get a challenging job and get married." It's time for men to man up.

Bennett's "notion of manhood" entails education, work and responsibility. These are all worthy values, but in the postfeminist age, there is nothing to distinguish them from the prevailing ideal of womanhood.

In this regard, Bennett is in harmony with Coontz, who urges women to seek out men for their willingness to do what used to be considered women's work. Both think that more equality between the sexes will make marriage more attractive. But if female hypergamy is an immutable feature of humanity's animal nature, it will have the opposite effect.

Bennett disparages immature men who waste their lives playing video games. To be sure, such dudes are pathetic. But there's a reason they're attracted to that particular pursuit. Video games are a simulacrum of masculine virtue: challenge, mastery, control.

There is a corresponding harsh female stereotype: the childless single woman with a cat or dog that serves as an outlet for her unfulfilled maternal instincts. Bennett and Coontz would dearly love to put these two together, but there's a reason they're alone. In a culture of sexual equality or female dominance, women and men who aren't especially charming, brilliant or beautiful don't have much to offer each other. Happy Valentine's Day.