Ахренеть, чё народ выделывает

[ymarkov]

This is an actual 404 error message served by Livejournal:

Page Not Found

I'm sorry, you've reached a page that I cannot find. I'm really sorry about this. It's kind of embarassing. Here you are, the user, trying to get to a page on LiveJournal and I can't even serve it to you. What does that say about me? I'm just a webserver. My sole purpose in life is to serve you webpages and I can't even do that! I suck. Please don't be mad, I'll try harder. I promise! Who am I kidding? You're probably all like, "Man, LiveJournal's webserver sucks. It can't even get me where I want to go." I'm really sorry. Maybe it's my CPU...no that's ok...how bout my hard drives? Maybe. Where's my admin? I can't run self-diagnostics on myself. It's so boring in this datacenter. It's the same thing everyday. Oh man, I'm so lonely. I'm really sorry about rambling about myself, I'm selfish. I think I'm going to go cut my ethernet cables. I hope you get to the page you're looking for...goodbye cruel world!

-the webserver

Another version:

Umm...you weren't supposed to see this.
Are you sure you typed in the URL correctly?
Um. Yeah. If you could get going that would be great. Frank needs some privacy.

Comments

[dlevey.livejournal.com]

Now we know where Marvin the depressed robot has been working after Douglas Adams' death.

[malenkiy-scot.livejournal.com]

Here you are, the user...

Here I am, the brain the size of a planet?

[malenkiy-scot.livejournal.com]

Enter fake LJ url (e.g. www.livejournal.com/fkfvniafn.html), hit refresh from time to time. My favorite:

This page is not here
like plum blossoms in the wind
existence is fake